Maybe I fell in love with the long nights and excitement.

The times we had getting high.

The stains on my shirts and the smell of you after you smoked your 5th ciggerette.

The smile you gave me when I was talking dumb, and the way you didn’t tell me I was.

The toleration we had for each other and the way we thought.

But it was like our life was on pause.

Everyday was the same, And maybe that’s not always so good.

I’ve grown out of all of this.

And what used to make me sing now makes me wonder if I ever loved you at all.

I came home tonight thinking I was alone,

but upstairs to my surprise, was an old friend.

Sadness was there sitting alone waiting for me.

He hovered toward me like a ghost. Drifting between two different worlds.

I wanted so badly to shove him away. Push it up against a wall and scream that he won’t get me, not this time.

You will never ruin me again.

I wrote; You thought he loved you. You thought wrong you poor naive little girl.;

Funny how the tables have turned. I wrote that about my boyfriend’s last girlfriend before he dated me. Weird how I feel exactly the same way now about myself now.

I loved that look in your eyes. 

I loved all of you then.

You dug me up

told me the sweetest, dirtiest, coldest secrets.

You unburied me, then you walked away.

I tend to dig myself back into that hole, and you continued to dig me up and leave.

You helped me breath only to leave me suffocating.

I never thought it’d be you though.

To leave me 6 foot under. 

To forget who I was to you.

I waited for you to dig me back up, to pull me out of this filth.

I waited.

I used
To t
Hink
That
May
Be
Itwasn’t as
Hard as i thought
It was.