Abandoning someone you love is an interesting process. Your subconscious sees what you have to do, and begins to help you. I sat in the passenger seat of his car after a night of driving, and he kissed me goodnight. I found that I could think of nothing but slugs writhing on top of each other. He made jokes that weren’t funny. His spelling was terrible. It’s the small things become repulsive, and you begin to tally them until they add up to a legitimate reason to leave.
(via yunzi)
I lost control of my life.
I am alone. And its more I ever felt in my life, its heavier then anything I ever lifted, its so sour its bitter. I don’t think I’m okay anymore.
My god I hate you. I wish I could rip you out of my system.
The worst part about it is I think it has finally got to me. I used to think that there wasn’t a thing that would make me not love you.
I needed to cut you out of my system. The idea was to dig deep enough that i’d find your soul tangled in mine, and i’d rip you away.
Then I wouldn’t be so sad anymore.
This morning you were beside me in bed in a deep sleep, I woke up and looked at you, and stared till I memorized your face. Then I leaned forward and kissed you. Your smell made me feel like I was always home, no matter where I was. As I pulled away you smiled, And my heart sunk to the pit of my stomach, and I felt my body melt off my bone. I tried to keep myself together, but you started fading away, I heard music blaring and suddenly my eyes swung open. I was alone. I tried so hard to go back to sleep, just so I could have that moment again. I wanted to relive our whole lives in my head, but the day was beckoning and my body was awake. So I dragged myself out of melancholy and pretended you never existed instead.
